An Ode to The Caesar

+Earth Day Downer / Ecoanxiety self-diagnosis

The Caesar. I know it's not very inspired or exciting. But for reasons I can't entirely explain, my entire family loves a Caesar salad. Even the picky 3-year-old, who pretty much hates anything flavorful. Every time I order one at a restaurant, my kids end up devouring most of it. Recently I decided I should work this into our family meals...duh!

I turned to Smitten Kitchen, a favorite food blog of mine, and was seriously impressed by her recipe. She calls her dressing "inauthentic," probably because of the mayonnaise. I thought it was spot on. I think this salad will be making an appearance on our table quite often!

If you want to hear my downer thoughts on Earth Day, read below.

Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad

I am pretty much copying the Smitten Kitchen recipe verbatim here because it was that good and there's not much I would change. If you don't eat/like chicken, you could substitute big chunks of avocado or even white beans (of course!).

Serves 4

FOR THE CHICKEN

1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts

(Optional brine for chicken: 1 cup water mixed with 1 tablespoon kosher salt and 1/2 teaspoon granulated sugar)

Freshly ground black pepper

Olive oil

A squeeze of lemon juice

FOR THE CROUTONS

3 tablespoons olive oil

1 large garlic clove, minced

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

4 cups bread cubes from slightly stale bread (I like sourdough but any sturdy bread would work.)

1/4 cup grated parmesan or pecorino cheese

FOR THE DRESSING

2 tablespoons mayonnaise

1 small garlic clove, minced

1 1/2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce or 1 to 2 anchovies, minced

1 to 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard

1 to 2 tablespoons lemon juice

1/4 cup olive oil

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

TO FINISH

2 full heads of romaine, or any other sturdy green, chopped to the size you like (Note: it's fun to leave the romaine leaves whole--my kids like to pretend they are bunnies and munch on them)

Additional grated or shaved pecorino or parmesan

If you want to brine the chicken, at least 30 minutes before grilling, combine the water, salt, and sugar in a bowl or dish. Add the chicken breasts and refrigerate.

When you’re ready to cook the chicken, drain it and pat it dry on paper towels. Rub lightly with olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Grill on high heat until cooked through, flipping once. Chicken should be done in 8 to 10 minutes. Let rest for 5 to 10 minutes, then slice thinly or cube. Squeeze a little lemon juice over the slices.

To make the croutons: Heat oven to 400 degrees. In a bowl, mix the bread cubes with the oil, garlic, salt, and pepper, and parmesan and spread on a large rimmed baking sheet. Bake, stirring once or twice, until the croutons are crisp and lightly colored on the outside, about 10 minutes. Set aside to cool.

To make the dressing: Combine all the ingredients in a jar with a lid, cover, and shake (or you can put the ingredients in a bowl and whisk until smooth). Taste and adjust the seasonings as you like.

Assemble the salad right before you want to eat it: Toss lettuce, chicken, and croutons with about 2/3 of the dressing. Divide among plates and top with grated or shaved parmesan, then drizzle remaining dressing over top. Season with more salt and pepper if needed.

This week was Earth Day, or, as my 3-year-old daughter insists on calling it, "Earth Day Day." My kids are super excited about all the festivals and clean-ups in Napa that we'll be attending, but in a weird way, it's becoming one of my most dreaded "holidays."

I grew up in a bubble in Mendocino County where Earth Day was a big deal. Recycle! Compost! Save the Earth! I remember feeling confident that the earth was in good hands. I want my kids to have the same confidence, but at the same time I want them to know the truth. And the truth is that we are destroying the earth and one feel-good day devoted to it is not going to save it.

As I try to put a positive spin on the idea of Earth Day for the sake of my children, deep down, my heart is breaking and I'm very anxious about the environmental crisis that's unfolding before our eyes.

I compost, I recycle, I reuse plastic bags, I buy "earth-friendly" products, but I know that's not enough. It turns out that much of our recycling efforts may be in vain anyway. I have a constant, nagging guilt that there is more I could be doing to help improve the state of our planet, but I feel paralyzed and overwhelmed by the enormity of it.

Apparently there is a diagnosis for what I have. It's called ecoanxiety. I guess I feel a little validated knowing that this is something other people are going through. But I still don't know what to do about it. Until I figure that out, I will continue to enjoy nature with my family, try to reduce our waste, hoard plastic bags in the hopes that I will remember to reuse them, and make informed decisions about the products I buy. And stay up late at night obsessively reading articles about climate catastrophe.